A couple of nights ago, I watched a news report that I have not been able to shake from my mind. Especially when just a short while after, I watched a beautiful video clip posted on FB about modesty from a man's point of view. The contrast is ...um....well...I'm not sure what word I could choose to accurately describe it. Perhaps 'sharp' to the point of being painful? That's how I felt, anyway.
Before moving on, I want to make my own bold statement.
MODESTY MATTERS
It isn't a woman's choice to dress immodestly or flaunt her body that gives her power.
I found the news story I watched on-line so I could post something here. Please excuse the graphic nature of the following photographs, but really-in this case a picture is worth a thousand words. So here is a sample of what happened on the streets of Toronto on Sunday, April 3rd:
Admittedly, on any given day on the streets of Toronto or most any other city we can see sights like this. But this display...this very public, purposeful parade of gross immodesty is a statement that absolutely contradictswhat God 's Word says. The following is an excerpt from a CBC article:
"A group of Toronto marchers took to the streets Sunday afternoon in what they’re calling a “slut walk" in response to controversial comments made by a police constable earlier this year.
"In January, Toronto Police Const. Michael Sanguinetti told a personal security class at York University that "women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized."
Sanguinetti apologized for his comments, but his apology failed to satisfy walk organizer Sonya Barnett.
"It was evident that if you're going to have a representative of the police force come out [and say that] then that kind of idea must be still running rampant within the force itself and that retraining really needs to happen to change that mentality," she said. "
As a victim of sexual assault, I believe I have something to say about this. I get why the remark made by this policeman would anger women, especially if it is understood to mean, "You got what you asked for" And I agree with their mission statement to "spread the word that those who experience sexual assault are not the ones at fault, without exception."
NO one DESERVES to be sexually violated...EVER.
But...
I think the greater injustice is to say that women are not responsible for how men respond to the way they dress and to advocate flaunting their bodies because they believe they have the 'right' to dress any way they want to without consequences. It shows how far this world has moved away from Biblical truth, and from any kind of moral compass for that matter. Minus God's Word we have no true understanding of human nature. We are in the dark. Lust is unquestionably inherent in our fallen nature. Not just a lust for sex but for all manner of fleshly appetites which God COMMANDS us to crucify.
WHY?
Because lust in control brings destruction, heartache & sickness. Not only to the one who is serving that lust in their own life but to others as well.
Believe it or not, the same lust that compels men to sexually assault women also compels the women in this parade to exalt and flaunt themselves in a manner that cares absolutely nothing about what anyone else might think. Or how it might affect onlookers. They care nothing about people who are offended or affected in any way by their nakedness. It's called pride.
Lust for anything may begin in the mind, with a thought- but looking upon the thing you lust for definitely makes a difference. Definitely adds fuel to an already raging fire. Forgive the analogy, but a provocatively dressed woman is like a sumptuous meal set down before a compulsive over-eater. Just ask Amnon, the son of King David. The Bible says that he "had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her." The Hebrew word translated 'love' is certainly not agape in nature. The kind of love that thinks always about the well-being of the other person. Amnon's 'love' was, in fact, sexual lust that was so intense and consumed him so- that it made him sick. This young man went to great lengths and used deception to get his sister in a place of vulnerability where he could fulfill his lustful craving for her.
"Then he said to Tamar, “Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here.” So Tamar took his favorite dish to him. But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.”“No, my brother!” she cried. “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel. 13 Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.”But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. [2 Samuel 13:10:14 NLV]
My heart goes out to any and all women who have been stung with the fiery dart of sexual abuse or sexual assault. But a parade of this nature is not the answer. In fact, it misses the whole crux of the matter by a million miles.
I guess my underlying point is that as Christian women we must not only understand about the presence of lust in human nature, but do everything within our power to not dress or act in a way that would provoke any man to lust. It is, indeed, our duty...our obligation to serve our brothers in Christ in this fashion. I'm not suggesting for a moment that any Spirit-filled women would join herself to a movement like this one. But there may be areas of our heart, or of our mind and emotions that have not yet been surrendered to the lordship of Christ. Cravings for attention. A desire to be noticed. And sometimes, even women who know God can be seduced by the fashion trends of the world and not even realize their dress has become provocative.
It is certain that Jesus is coming and coming soon.
We may not know the hour or the day but we can be 'certain' of the signs.
1 Peter 4:7 warns us that, "The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray"
Unless we have our heads deeply buried in the sand, it is impossible not to acknowledge the current reality of the above Scripture. The description of the last days as given to us by Jesus Himself in Matthew 24 is unfolding daily before our eyes. Wars and rumours of wars, nation rising against nation, famines, earthquakes and pestilence-all occurring with greater intensity and frequency like the labor pains of an expectant mother.
The world has become a 'global community' thanks to technology.And the world as a community is looking for answers to the common problems facing every nation. War, the economy and religion are viewed as key areas where ongoing conflicts exist. Answers are being sought to solve these problems for the 'common good'. In other words-in each of these areas we are moving toward a one-world system.
Biblical prophesies that even a decade ago,we couldn't imagine how they might be fulfilled -are now falling into place like pieces of a giant puzzle. Issues of national security have ushered in laws and practices that were preciously unheard of. And security as it relates to personal finances has brought into being the 'chip card' which no longer requires a signature-just a pin number.
Not that any born again believer should be worried about these events, but are we concerned? Are we paying attention? Are we, as the Scripture says, "clear minded and self-controlled so we can pray?"
Or
Are we as individuals and sometimes even as the corporate body of Christ-focused on things that 'seem' right-but which neglect the vital preparation of our heart and soul for the sure coming of our Lord? My thoughts may well be perceived as negative by some, and this thinking, I fear, is yet another sure sign that we are, indeed, in the end times.
It's easy to identify the signs that Jesus warned about in the gospels. But what about discerning"the many who would come in His name" who will deceive people? Those who the scriptures foretell will creep in and arise among us and lead many astray?
"For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works." (2Co 11:13-15)
Our only safeguard against this kind of deception is the Word of God...the Truth!
The moment we begin to depart from God's blueprint either by ommitting things that He has ordained- or by adding and following after humanly devised plans-we begin a downward spiral away from the power and presence of God. And if ever we needed the power and presence of God it is now!
Nothing less will draw the souls of lost men and women. Nothing less will convict their hearts so they can actually understand how lost they are and how in need of a Saviour. Nothing less will cause the church to love and model holiness, "without which no man will see the Lord". It is only as we,the body of Christ, reflect God's glory and lift Him up in our lives that people will be drawn to the Christ alive in us.
God has called us to be salt-not sugar. We cannot fulfil God's purpose by being something we are not. Sugar is often used to disguise or take away the bitter taste of something-to make it easier to swallow. How could we ever conclude that anything in God's Word or anything about His ways needs to be changed or altered to make it more palatable to the unbeliever?
"Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever." (Heb 13:8)
He's STILL the same.
I am so glad that noone told Peter on the day of Pentecost to be sure that his words were not offensive or to take a more informal approach to God. On that remarkable day-the church was born. The church all churches were meant to pattern themselves after. Pentecost began inside as those believers were gathered together in one mind and in one accord and in obedience to their God who had told them to go there and wait until HE provided the power they needed to BE His witnesses.
It was because the people outside both "saw" and "heard" the real deal that the crowd was drawn that day. It was because the believers were busy BEING the church-and not trying in their own power to make things happen-that God moved. Peter told the truth that day to the unbelieving crowd. His message didn't make them feel good or comfortable. It"pricked their hearts". And the godly sorrow they felt as they listened, worked repentance just like the Scripture promises. (2 Cor 7:10) True conversion only comes as we see ourselves the way Isaiah did when he saw the Lord in His temple. (Isaiah 6) When we see ourselves as undone...as people of unclean lips,minds and hearts-it is the beginning of real change. That's what happned on the day of Pentecost. And it caused those men and women to ask the lifesaving question, "Men and brethren, what shall we do?"
The answer is the same today as it was back then:
"Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call. "[Acts 2:38-39]
What a glorious hope lies ahead for those who hear and obey the gospel!
I pray that we will keep in mind the words of our Lord, that in the last days we will be"hated by all men for His name's sake"
Indeed, many have come in His Name, and many have gained a huge following and great popularity. But when the church or any individual Christian is embraced by the world there is DEFINITELY something amiss.Something has been compromised. Remember the devil has a counterfeit for everything. His greatest, most effective deception will take place under the banner of Christianity as he works as "an angel of light", and his ministers "as ministers of righteousness".
His best lie is 99% true. Think about it.
Beware of 'blender' Christianity. We cannot mix the methadologies and philosophies of the world with God's holy Word-not even when they are introduced and applauded by multitudes of recognized leaders. EVERYTHING must be measured by the yardstick of Scripture!
"Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray."
And pray we must! Like it or not- the days ahead may be difficult for those who desire to walk in the ways of God's Word. It is only a matter of time before the Bible is viewed by more than a minority as hate literature. Look around. It's happening. Now is not the time to stop teaching,preaching and living the whole counsel of God! If we don't stand now-we won't stand then.
"But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness" (2Pe 3:10-11)
That's the song I woke up with on my mind. And the thought that came with it was -sometimes that means we don't get what WE ask for or what WE want. Sometimes not even what we 'think' God wants.
So what is it that we rest our faith upon? Well...on what God says, right? Right. But here's the thing. The same Word that thrills us with accounts of miraculous healings and people raised from the dead (what we would call blessings) also shows the flip side of the coin. Hebrews sums it up when it speaks of those who:
"through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions,
quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. Women received their dead raised to life again: and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection: "
[Hebrews 11:33-35]
It's easy to have faith when we read testimonies like this. But what about the next few verses? What about when faith is met with a different result than we have anticipated? What if the blessing doesn't come? Well, at least not in the form we expected.
"And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment: They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented; (Of whom the world was not worthy:) they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth. " [ Heb 11:36-38]
The Bible cleary says that both of these groups of people "all obtained a good report through faith," [Hebrews 11:39]
I'm hearing that song again...."We don't want blessings we want YOU."
What does that mean?
I think it really is important to have faith in what GOD wants....in God's will ....because sometimes-if we would really admit it-our faith is largely based on what WE want. When that is the case-and what we ask for doesn't come to pass-our faith can be shaken and in some cases even shipwrecked. But if our faith is really resting in what GOD wills we are, in effect, saying that it's not the blessing that we want-we just want HIM...we just want what He knows is best.... what HE wants because God, unlike us, sees the beginning to the end.
This, I believe, is the kind of faith that cannot be destroyed. It is the faith that declares with Job, "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return: The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away;" [Job 1:21] and, "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him."[Job 13:15]
Does this faith negate a season of anguish and a struggle to accept God's will? No, it does not. We humans must 'work out' our salvation with fear and trembling." [Philippians 2:12]
It is a truly magnificent thing when God heals and does things that we deem miraculous. But the truth is that faith in the storm...faith in the face of death....faith when our world is falling apart- brings glory to God like nothing else can. As a new Christian, I watched a woman in our church- a wife with three young children- struggle with cancer. I saw her come faithfully to church with her family-even though she was obviously getting sicker. I prayed fervently, along with others that God would heal her. It didn't make sense that He would take this mother from her children. But He did. And I will NEVER forget watching that husband and those three small children in church worshipping God immediately after her funeral. Their faith spoke volumes to me. Their faith in the midst of grief and loss said, "This is the God we serve. We trust Him even though He has chosen to take from us. We believe that He still loves us, that He has not forsaken us and that He does all things well."
That was almost 23 years ago and it has stayed with me and spoken to me and encouraged me all this time.
So the next time we sing this song-let's think about what the lyrics really mean. Let's examine our heart and ask- "is it the blessing we want, Lord, or is it really only You?"
Yesterday, I was shopping in Costco and as ususal found myself lingering in the book aisle. I LOVE books! Although, I am a tad bit selective about my reading choices. I love the feel of a book in my hands-not to mention the smell of a library filled with them! You can keep your 'Kindles' and other hand-held reading devices! Give me something with pages to turn! ANYway, I was particualry drawn to the children's books. To the intriguing covers and brightly illustrated pages. I noticed that a significant portion of those books were educational in nature. And that got me thinking about the goals and the dreams we have for our children concerning the things we want them to learn. This is particularly on my mind because I am soon to become a grandmother for the first time.
Quite honestly, I believe the task of child raising in this hour is more challenging than at any other time in the history of the world. Especially, but not specifically for Christian parents.Even a casual understanding of the time preceding the Lord's return (and that time is now)- lets us know that all things Biblical will be denounced and pushed increasingly out of our society in vitually every area-including churches. Even in churches that claim to be 'Christian.' We are living in the day prophesied of by Isaiah, when people "call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter." [5:20]
And what, you ask, does this have to do with books?
ALOT!
The kinds of books we choose to have in our home and to use in training our children is important.
I can't think of anything more imperative than for our children to know and to love Jesus Christ. We parents have been given the awesome task of making every provision for this to happen. Children are the heritage of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is HIS reward. The world uses virtually every form of media to tell us what is important for our children to know and to have and to be. I could see this in the books I looked at yesterday. I'm not saying they were all bad or unnecessary. I'm just saying that for believing parents-the goal of helping our children to know God ought to be reflected in our book choices.As a former homeschooling mother, I know there are plenty of absolutely wonderful Bible based resources available to us. Materials that can be used to accompany the Bible in introducing our children to Jesus Christ, and in teaching the principles of Christian living.
I remember my very first visit to our local Christian Bookstore. I know I spent every spare penny I had on books for Alex. Delightful books that brought the truth of God's Word to life for my daughter. An elderly pastor's wife approached me one day after I had been shopping there awhile. She said she was pleased that I was making an investment in good Christian books for my daughter. I guess I hadn't thought of it as an investment. But it's true. You reap what you sow....most especially in the garden of a child's soul. If you don't take the time and make the effort to plant spiritual seeds you can't expect anything spiritual to be produced in their lives. Furthermore,We wouldn't think of feeding our children just two or three times a week. Obviously, it would stunt their physical growth. It wouldn't be enough to sustain them.Christian parents cannot and should not depend on pastors and/or Sunday school teachers for the spiritual growth of their children. The Bible clearly commands that fathers bring their children up in the training and admonition of the Lord. (1 Cor 6:4) As the spiritual head (overseer) of the home, Dad ensures that the sowing of God's Word is taking place in the hearts of his children every day. That the Bible is not just a coffee table ornament but a manual that is read daily and referred to when questions about life and living arise. It isn't enough to simply take your children to church. We, the parents, are to 'train' them. That's the word the Bible uses.
TRAIN:
-To make proficient with specialized instruction and practice
-To coach in or accustom to a mode of behavior or performance.
Being a trainer necessitates being intimately acquainted with what and/ or who we are teaching about. In this case -with Jesus Christ and His Word. That we have been with Jesus will be obvious to our children. I'm not suggesting that parents ought to be perfect in all things, or that we never make mistakes-but rather that our children see us spend time in prayer and in God's Word. That they see our love for and our dependency upon Jesus.That when answers are needed we go, first, to our knees and to the Bible. That they hear us calling out their name to God on a daily basis.
It's hard to believe that a stroll down the book aisle at Costco could be a catalyst for these ramblings. But it is. I attend a church with a high percentage of young couples with young children. My heart is burdened for each and every one of them.In a world that bombards the minds of children with SO much anti-God propaganda, it seems to me that we cannot be too diligent in our homes to help our sons and daughters obtain God's views on literally EVERYthing!!
"Woman, how divine your mission
Here upon our natal sod!
Keep, oh, keep the young heart open
Always to the breath of God!
All true trophies of the ages
Are from mother-love impearled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world."
~William Ross Wallace
Friday, December 31, 2010
There is always a certain excitement about starting a new year.
It's like turning in life's binder to a fresh clean page with no mistakes on it. Feeling that eagerness to press your freshly sharpened pencil onto that blank page and begin to write! Most of us make our start with bold resolutions for which we somehow lose our initial resolve a few pages into the new year. That, I fear, is human nature. Which is why I have decided to begin 2011 with a simple, quiet determination to do only one thing.
Trust God.
Like a good many others there are situations in my life that if left to the wanderings of my natural mind could pull me down into a dark abyss of hopeless, negative thinking.
But I refuse to live in the realm of "if only" or "it should have been" or "might have been".
Instead I choose to trust God.
As I close the door on 2010 and get ready to travel into 2011 I have one important verse of Scripture packed in my bag.
"And we KNOW that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." [Romans 8:28]
I love His Word
Every bit of it.
But this single verse kind of puts things in a nutshell or sums up the Christian's walk with God. There is SO much wrapped up in these few words. An absolute world of joy, contentment and peace if we will choose to believe what it says.
We say we do. But then something happens that is so devastating or painful or unfair that we find ourselves plunged into the depths of despair, drowning in a sea of self-pity or confusion...the truth of that beautiful verse floating somewhere just beyond our reach.
I have never forgotten these very wise words spoken by a wonderful woman of God who has since gone on to glory,
"There is POWER in a made up mind." Isabelle Norris
That is something you and I CAN do. We can decide. We can determine. We can yield our will to God and choose to believe that He means what He says and He says what He means and that's that!
So when our world turns upside down- viewing it through the lens of this truth will turn it upright. When things don't go as you'd hoped or imagined, this verse helps you release your dreams into God's hand and KNOW that HIS plan is still working!
God either has a plan for our lives and for this world or He doesn't.
If we believe His Word- the notion of coincidence or chance should not even enter our mind's radar.
Whatever is happening in your life and mine is happening for a reason.
There IS a silver lining in your cloud even if you can't see it yet.
TRUST.
I like to think of it as faith so radical it sees through and beyond the deepest and darkest storms of life to gaze upon the loving face of God. Jesus really meant it when He said, "Except you become like little children you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven." [Matthew 18:3]
Childlike faith quiets the storm in us and allows us to fall back into the arms of our Heavenly Father and KNOW that everything will be alright.
Trust sings. Trust worships. Trust holds the hand of God and believes even when all the odds are stacked against us.
"Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines;the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls:
YET....
I will rejoice in the the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The Lord is my strength, and He will make my feet like hind's feet, and He will make me to walk upon my high places." Habakkuk 3:17-19
"As a man thinks in his heart so is he." (Proverbs 23:7)
This is the plain and simple truth.
Before we do anything we think about it first.
What we think is important. Very important.
In fact it is the will of God that our thinking is not conformed to this world but that we are transformed by the renewing of our mind. (Romans 12:2)
In other words, our thinking ought to be shaped by what God says. Not by what the world says. There's a difference, you know. A big difference.
The thing is, if we would simply care enough to want to know what God thinks about literally every area of life- it would take us on an exciting journey into His Word for more of His marvellous truth. It would blow away the cobwebs of confusion and bring victory to our every day life.
Nothing surprises and bothers me more than Christians who embrace a world view in even one area of their life. Take marriage for example. Thinking unbiblically about the most important relationship outside of our relationship with God is dangerous. In fact, it can be lethal. Because, as I just mentioned-we will walk in the direction our thoughts are leading. And our thoughts can lead us straight away from the will of God. God's will as it is revealed in His Word paves a divine pathway through the landmines of this world. If we veer off this path by getting outside or away from the wisdom of His Word things can blow up in our face.
Marriages can explode into chaos and break apart.
This is on my mind because of situations I am personally involved in or aware of. When divorce statistics among the Christian population match or exceed those in non-Christian circles-it is a sure sign that God’s Word has ceased to be the foundation and center in the lives of the individuals married to one another. I am convinced this is true, sadly- with few exceptions.
The minds of many Christians are being influenced and shaped by the popular self-help gurus of the 21st century. It's true! Even those who profess to follow Christ prefer a soft shade of grey to the stark black and white of Scripture.
Why?
God's Word challenges our flesh. It stands in unyielding opposition to the vehement cries of the carnal defence lawyer who lives in all of us. The part of us that prickles when offended. That rises up and shakes an angry fist and shouts, "I have my rights!!!"
Remember the words of the apostle Paul, " But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: (1Co )
And all the married couples said, "AMEN!"
Really though, this is the truth. When two individual self lives come together as one-there is a lot of dying to self that has to happen in order for that one flesh relationship to blossom and grow.
Ouch!
And when the world is constantly pumping out its message to do what 'feels' right in our own sight, to get out of relationships that cause us any kind of pain or dissatisfaction; when we are told through virtually every form of media that our personal rights and happiness are far more important than the vows we made on our wedding day; when we allow our thoughts to be shaped by these philosophies-marriages crumble. Homes are destroyed. Children become hurt and disillusioned. God's will is cast aside. We have stepped on a landmine of terrible compromise and the casualties are numerous.
What or who is shaping your view of marriage?
We all need to ask ourselves this question.
If our mind concerning our marriage vows has been renewed by God's Word. If our thoughts are firmly rooted in the Scriptures and our will is submitted to God's-our marriage will weather ANY storm. I have proved it in my own marriage and have seen it work in others.
Divorce is not an option. God hates divorce.
Let me pause here to say that I fully realize there are situations where it may be impossible for a couple to remain together because of abuse or continued, unrepented sin on the part of one spouse. However, I still believe there is hope in marriages even when they seem utterly hopeless. My burden is for those who throw in the towel too easily. Who give up before exhausting all of the heavenly resources God has so graciously equipped us with.
Sometimes an illustration says it best. Lives submitted to God and committed to doing His will always shine and bring glory to God. And not only this- but by their example, others will know that they, too, can stand strong in the Lord in the face of any trial. Allow me to share a story that has impacted me, personally.
Somewhere between the North Pole and the South live an ordinary couple. A Christian couple who are trying their best to live for God and to do His will. They have had their share of ups and downs as all couples do, but they love each other. Let me pause here to say that every married individual should spend some time exploring what love is and is not-according to God's Word. The challenge of agape love is submission. Agape love is selfless. It has no rights. It seeks only to do God's will and is only possible in marriage as we surrender our individual self life to Him. Think about that the next time you say “I love you” to your spouse.
Now back to my story.
About two years ago, the wife in this couple-a friend of mine- was watching a movie with her son on the family computer. Suddenly, in just a blink of an eye, the movie disappeared from the screen, and in its place a naked woman appeared- dancing seductively. The image stunned her, but she quickly escaped the screen and grappled for some kind of explanation to give her child. Everyone knows how quirky the internet and computers can be…right? She continued watching the movie with her son trying to hide the panic she was feeling-forcing herself to keep her eyes focused on the screen while her mind was slipping into overdrive. In fact it was barrelling at top speed down the highway of dread.
Nothing like this had ever happened before. I know that it completely blew me out of the water hearing her story at the time.
This woman had no reason to suspect that it was more than a fluke-except for the sick feeling she got in the pit of her stomach. She was anxious for the movie to be over so her son would go to bed and she could explore a little further. When he finally turned in she began a search through the computer's web history. You’ve heard the old saying, “there’s a first time for everything”. Firsts can be the happiest, most thrilling occasions in our life. Like a first date or a first trip to somewhere exciting.
Or firsts can be unbelievably shocking. They can imprint the heart with a much different type of impression.
It was the first time my friend had found links to pornographic material on the computer. If you have used Internet for any length of time you have probably received one of those annoying emails that instruct you to look carefully at a serene picture and find a particular detail. While you are lost in concentration, a terrifying face pops out of nowhere, screaming so loudly that morning coffees have often been spilled over keyboards.
Betrayal is like that. It bursts suddenly and unexpectedly onto the landscape of your life. It literally shocks you. Shock is described in the dictionary as an impact of some type- a sudden, powerful concussion; violent blow, shake, or jar. It is further described as any sudden disturbance or agitation of the mind or emotions, as through great loss or surprise. We can easily move on and wipe off the keyboard after that screaming face appears on our computer screen-but betrayal continues to scream in our emotions long after it happens.
Betrayal of trust in a marriage can mean the demise of a relationship.
Or....
It can bring a couple to the feet of Jesus and introduce them to a depth of God's love and mercy they have not yet discovered.
And that is what happened and is happening in this marriage.
This lady's first response was anger. An anger arising from the excruciating heartache she was feeling. From the barrage of fear and questions that swallowed up her thoughts. The victim mentality snapped over her mind like an airtight lid, and for a while she could only see the situation through the filter of self. "I have been betrayed!" "My heart has been broken!" "I am so disappointed!" "I am completely disillusioned!" And on and on the 'I' and 'my' list went. And let me tell you, it wasn't difficult to silently agree with her in that moment of agony.
Until....
Until she fell on her knees and began to cry out to God in her pain. She described how she immediately felt the comfort of the Holy Ghost, how she knew that God heard and God cared. But then He gently brought to her remembrance a story from His Word.
The story of the woman caught in the act of adultery.
She had caught her husband in an act of adultery. When a married individual watches pornography it is in every way a betrayal of the wedding vow. Jesus clearly taught, "You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery’. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:27)
I'm justified in my anger, she thought. The stones were in her hand. The anger and indignation were in her heart. But as she read the words Jesus spoke to the crowd gathered that day, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her"......the stones began to fall one by one to the ground. Conviction gripped her heart as the realization of her own sinful nature...her own propensity to failure...her own daily need for the mercy and forgiveness of God gripped her heart. And in that moment of realization or revelation, she was plunged into the reality of the perfect love of God. That love was again shed abroad in her heart in a measure she had never experienced before. It flushed out all claims to a victim status. It washed away the anger. His love consumed and compelled her to forgive and to stand with her husband in this moral failure.
I'd like to tell you that it ended here. But just a couple of months ago, her husband slipped again. He visited a pornographic website again. And although he reached out immediately to a friend in ministry who had become his accountability partner, he did not tell his wife. Unfortunately, she made the discovery accidentally and because he had kept it from her- she felt doubly betrayed. Once again she was plunged into a whirlwind of emotion. Everything in her wanted to shut down and shut out the source of her pain and disappointment. She became incensed with telling her husband what this had done to HER, how it had affected HER until one day when she sat down to write him letter, it was as though God wouldn’t let her write those words of accusation. Instead, she found herself asking for his forgiveness. She said God kept bringing to her mind the things she needed to repent of. And with every line she felt both the unction of the Holy Ghost and a sweet release in her spirit. The things she was expressing were the extreme opposite of what she had been thinking and feeling. But God was calling her again to step out of the natural and into the SUPERnatural. Into the place of obedience and submission. Into the place where there are no limits on the number of times we must forgive. 70 x’s 7…right?
Here is wisdom: “Commit your works (actions) to the LORD,And your thoughts will be established.” Proverbs 16:3
What does that mean? It means that when we are willing to step off the ‘My way” Highway by doing what God asks of us, our obedience will bring the blessing of having our thoughts and subsequently our emotions established or made stable by His truth through the power of His indwelling Spirit. This is 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 in action:
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”
And so, my friend finished the letter and left it for her husband. When she returned from picking up groceries, he was standing in the kitchen holding the letter. He had tears in his eyes. He walked over to her, wrapped his arms around her and began to sob. She told me at that moment, God spoke to her as clearly as He ever had, and said “Love conquers all.”
This couple’s love for one another has never been deeper. Their commitment to God and to their marriage vows- never stronger.
This is what viewing life through the lens of Scripture can do. She can say with Jesus in sincerity of heart, "Neither do I condemn you."
Following Jesus in marriage means submitting to His Word even when doing so runs completely contrary to what 'seems' right or 'feels' right. Love is NOT just a feeling. Love is a commitment to stand with your partner come what may. No doubt there will be a struggle as you fight to push through the veil of flesh into the presence of God-but when that happens your perspective changes completely.
When your heart is broken. When your dreams are crushed. When you don't 'feel' like submitting to anything but your hurt and anger....if you will commit your actions...if you will DO what God asks you to do...then your thoughts and feelings will be transformed. They will be established through your obedience to Him.
This is what makes Christian marriages different.
Love God’s way “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love NEVER fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8)
